I decided to start this blog tonight. Trying to start writing more again.

I have to tell you, the game has changed since my last blog when I was about 16. It was on blogspot, I rediscovered it the other day. It still exists, perfectly preserved as if my homecoming dance was currently on my horizon.

Thank God it’s not. Man, did I detest those things. Being a 250-lb 16 year-old was not exactly conducive to enjoyable school functions, especially those that involved getting all gussied up and grinding up on one another.

Today I was thinking.. Oftentimes I have this thought actually.. I was born in the wrong time. This is an era of Facebook and Instagram, and Tweeting.. To be honest with you, I am really only familiar with Facebook (which I am currently boycotting for my own sanity). Anyway, I was supposed to create some hashtags for my first post and I felt like an imposter. “Who are you, Anne? Using hashtags. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”

I’ve never quite fit in with the times. It used to drive me crazy. I felt such pressure to conform, to try to be like everyone else. As the years have gone by and I have found a spiritual solution to the malady within myself, I have made peace with my eccentricity. I like what I like. I don’t like what I don’t like.

As Popeye says, I am what I am and that’s all that I am.

This age of social media drains me. It is impossible to keep up with all the trends. And my good God, I am glad I am not a young woman growing up today. I thought I had it hard when I was growing up as far as societal pressures. Yikes! Now more than ever I think it is up to us women of the world to teach the next generation about inner beauty and strength. Outer beauty exists and can be enjoyed, and rightly so. But the measure of a woman’s worth goes much deeper than the outside. And anyone who looks for it outside of themselves will come up empty if they are anything like me.

I started starving myself into beauty when I was 17 and subsequently sacrificed everything that made me Anne. Thankfully I have that lovable loser back now, and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

You see, the smaller I got, the bigger it grew.

That self-loathing, that feeling of self-hatred. It never once improved with the number on a scale. Or the likes on a page. Or the comments of admirers.

Nope, I still couldn’t stand myself. In fact, I began to like myself less. What a trap we fall into! How we isolate ourselves and limit our potential!

I feel so strongly that as women we need to encourage one another. Remind one another of the great beauty and potential that each of us possess. Let’s rekindle our sisterhood and burn off some of the bullshit!